●●BATAL LAGI SATU KONSERT●●

Anyonghaseyo para-para sakura..

So another concert will be cancelled here in malaysia, ehh? AGAIN!!

Aritu concert Kylie Minogue, Gwen Stefani, Beyonce, pastu Erykah Badu, dah tu 2NE1, FT Island, ni yang latest lak Lamb Of God...  

Owh WOW!! Syok nyer!!

I am not a fan of Lamb Of God but my son and his friends were looking forward to this event errrmmmm... like forever [he even ditched Metallica for this]. If I'm not a big fan, then why should i be bothered, you wondered... yeah, true.. I'm not, but i repeat, my son is!! 

Macam relax-relax jer nak batalkan concert kat Malaysia ni kan? Macam dah jadisatu habitat semulajadi plak... dah jadi satu budaya plak aku tengok...

Aku tak pasti arrr concert ni dah confirmed batal ke tak sebab aku malas nak google tapi dari tadi pagi aku tengok anak aku nyer wall kat facebook macam frustrated giler jer sebab LOG nyer concert nak di batalkan, so aku pun macam rase tak best arr sebab yer arrr... cian budak2 tu... nama pun anak, ye dak...

Ticket concert dah beli... flight ticket pergi balik pun dah beli... yer arr kalo bley refund, cuma untuk concert ticket tu jer... flight tu chechanner... nak tak nak dorang kene gak datang sini sebab dah terbeli...

errrrr.. JAKIM nak cover balik tak kalo semua fans claimed balik flight tickets, ticket bas ke,bla bla bla nih... suke-suki jer kannnn?

Metal music is a branch of rock music, it is much louder obviously, with more complicated guitar playings and drum beats.. Music is so universal... everybody loved music... rock ker... kpop [macam aku arrr], sentimental, dangdut, jazz.. tak kire arrrrr... 

Kater nyer ''kerana genre muzik kumpulan berkenaan yang pernah membuat persembahan mencampuradukkan lagu metal dengan bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran''.... [aku copy and paste dalam yahoo tadi]

Yang ''pernah'' yerrrrr... yang PERNAH... takkan dorang nak buat lagi kowt... everybody deserves a second chance... sah-sah dorang nak datang malaysia... takkan dorang nak kutuk Islam kowt... kejadahnyer pakai statement macam ni plak untuk batalkan concert... vangannggg arrrrr...

Takkan lah budak2 ni terus nak murtad semata-mata dorang pi tengok concert ni kowt... haiissshhhhh sungguh aku tak faham... lagi satu aku baca tadi ''kerana banyak pihak bimbang terhadap kemungkinan merebaknya masalah moral dan keruntuhan akhlak khususnya dalam kalangan remaja berdasarkan latar belakang dan genre muzik yang dibawa oleh kumpulan itu''...

What the fuck lah weeeyyyyy... agenda tak bley blah dowhhh... tak pi tengok konsert pun ramai ramaja yang sudah rosak akhlaknye... kes buang2 anak tu pun aku rasa dorang tak pernah pi tengok konsert2 macam ni, memang dah rosak pun..

Apesal JAKIM tak halang konsert-konsert yang selalu dorang buat kat Sepang tu gak ekkkk... lagi rosak aku tengok... bukan performers/band yang rosak, tapi budak2 yang datang tengok konsert tu yang rosak.. dengan pelbagai jenis dadah dorang sumbat dalam mulut... dengan arak lagi... itu lagilah rooossaaaaaakkkkk...

Kalau yer pun nak cakap soal akidah, masalah moral atau keruntuhan akhlak bagai... takyah arrr kuburkan impian remaja2 dgn membatalkan lepas satu, satu konsert tak menjadik.... org dewasa yang tak pernah tengok konsert nih pun ramai yang perangai macam syaitan... rasuah... zina... lagilah runtuh akhlaknyer wahai tuan ustaz... 

Kalo tiap kali last minute macam ni... susah weeeyyy... banyak duit dah terbuang... kalo boley dapat refund untuk flight tickets, hotels bla bla bal aku tak kisah sangat sebab mungkin JAKIM sangat kaya raya, tapi sekadar nak attack pakai tagline 'keruntuhan moral' bla bla bla baik takyah arrrr.. memang aku pun rasa macam civai dundunz kowtttttt...

Macam aritu concert Metallica pun banyak yang pertikaikan.. nasib baek ler success... it's just a concert where fans get to enjoy their idols performing on stage... kalo nak cakap pasal pergaduhan... time tengok bola pun org gaduh...time bersidang pun menteri2 gaduh gak... takder pun Lamb Of God kat situ time dorang huru hara tu ye dakkkk?

Aku yang bengang...

❤FARAH❤

●❤● tHe RaStA sHawL ●❤●

Tengah confused nak jadikan bende ni shawl atau blanket.... kalo blanket memang nak kene tunggu 3 tahun lah kowt sebab dah tercrochet jadi Queen Size blanket plak.. kalo lah.. so.. for the time being let me pretend that this is a nice rasta shawl made by me...

●❤● mY RaStA pRoJeCt ●❤●

Mempunyai banyak hobi... salah satu daripada hobi yang dah lama tak buat adalah crochet.. learned it from my friend when I was pregnant with Princess Ezel (my owh my that was like 14 years ago) so bile rasa macam nak buat jer, tak kire arr, nekad sangat... knowing me lah kan?? So aritu bangun awal pi Petaling Street naik cab pastu berjalan ronda-ronda cari benang-benang yang sangat susah nak jumpa ni sorang-sorang (kalo ikutkan hati memang takkan nak pergi sorang tapi seriously I was so excited to do this project so I couldn't care less) few nites before I went to Amcorp Mall with my friend Eusopth Salleh but then the shop was closed (before closing time... sedeyyy) and I found these babies at Macy.. Sangat Heaven shop tu.. best gilerrr... Rasa macam tak nak balik jer.. The previous week aku pi bayar taxi untuk temankan aku pi cari yarn ni kat Chow Kitt (ellehhh buang duit jer.. menyesal plak dengar cakap taxi driver tu) but that's okay.. I found my toystore in Petaling Street... I heart MACY....

❤ ❤ HoWt BooBs, JiGgLy JuGs, HeAvY MeLoNs, aWeSoMe RaCk ❤ ❤

Call them whatever you want but breasts will always be breasts no matter what they look like, their shapes & sizes...

I however named my pair "my-greatest-liabilities" whilst ex-lovers call them "greatest-assets".

Trust me... they're so not an assets!

Having large breasts has been a total curse for me. I grew up with total shame over my body and never felt confident. I have struggled with stares, comments and attitudes. To me, it's like; you can see my twins from Orbit.

Having mega-huge breasts does not automatically make you feel beautiful either.  That is something that all of us have to struggle with, and having our problems heard through a documentary or complaining is a way to come to terms with our body shape whether it is with big breasts or small ones.

I asked my doctor why I looked like a grandma, he was laughing out loud (while I was crying) and showed me a book filled with photos of different kind of breasts... he said it's not because of the wrong usage of bra types or because I didn't take good care of them but because of human breasts came in different shapes and sizes... he said it's not even sagging. They were just plain heavy & he said I have nothing to worry about because I can still wear tons of different types of bra available in stores that will flaunt my self-proclaimed-liabilities... I can't fight nature’s will, he said (may I remind you that I was only 16 then?? owh yeah and I was pregnant too. My first bra was worn at the age of 16.. so hell yeah.. I am a late bloomer... boohoo..)

As years gone by, I've endured some truly appalling pickup lines. I've had women & drag queens asking me “Are those real?” before asking for my name.  That is just shitty-fuckin’-crap but I have to go thru all this shitty crap, unlike any of you...

And the boys??? The cheeky men? All those perverts?? Urrgghhhhh... need I say more?  Well, Men are gonna look and look and looking at them like nobody's business! Not only is it gonna be one of them cool gazes, but a comical full on orchestrated STARE with cheeky smiles & twitching eyebrows.

Do you know what it is like having a man speaks to you but never look at your face but your chest every now and then?

I've been molested-for-fun, a lot as well. Mostly by people (or should I more specific?? My own friends) who think caressing my jugs up is hilarious and “ironic” and not at all inappropriate or abusive.

It is seriously annoying when people kept on staring at them EVEN when I am wearing baju kurung or T-shirts or some loose over-sized-blouses... I still can't hide these pair... trust me, I am not proud of these but they were given to me by Allah SWT... I`ve had a love/hate relationships with my breasts my whole entire life.  It took me a long time to accept them and loves them so I flaunt them 'coz I can't get rid of them easily..

I seriously hates it when older women (wearing Hijab especially) starts staring then whispering to the person next to them and they will all look at me while their lips annoyingly trying hard to kill me softly.

So, normally, I'd finger-fucked them to their stupid ugly faces. Occasionally I'd make a horny face and starts fondling my boobs while staring back at them but all I know is by simply pointing out that my breasts are large is not inherently hilarious to me either. So fuck them women!!

People could be very cruel and harsh most of the time too. They make stupid jokes about them but knowing me, I will gave my bullet-proof-poker-face to smile along when truth is, it hurts.. It does hurt badly because I’ve always believed that every stupid joke has an element of truth to it....

So my dearest friends and haters, I honestly want you to know that it is so fucking insulting when you guys are making fun of my boobs.

It's not like I paid my surgeon to add in my bra size.  I was as surprised to see them growing out like these. Go ask my family members. I grew up under their roof (none of them make fun of me because they know, GOD gave me these. I don’t ask him for these... Will never ever ask for an inch bigger)

So even when somebody says “Don't take it seriously ok? I was just kidding!” after a mean comment, there had to be something they believed about the remark as a reference point. Teasing never just came totally out of the blue.

Still I think it is not fair for people to say shits like "sayangnya dia langsung tak menjaga aset dia yang paling penting" (this was said to a model in FB where I added a comment too, earlier on)

People loved to judge and being so cruel about a lot of things that they themselves never had to face or experience.

I am also aware that some people are just mean to others because it makes them feels better..

You don't know what it's like to have these heavy melons attached to your body 24 hours a day, 365 days til' the day you die...

Have you ever picture yourself having these pairs at the age of 16 til' now??? Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul deerrrr... come and ask my shoulder personally, they'll tell you inside out (if only they could speak, that is)

When I was younger, kids in school make fun of me almost everyday (I attended an all-girls-school) and it’s worst when I have to crossed the neighbouring school (the all-boys school that i hated so much).

So every morning after each shower, looking at myself at the full-figure mirror with my granny-melons, I prayed "Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku please give me breast cancer, ASAP" (so I could have a smaller melons) but now, I am thankful for what my admirers call, "my-precious-assets" (I still call 'em liabilities tho).

I am grateful Allah didn't answer my daily prayer.. Alhamdullillah, Ya Allah... I am thankful...

Then again, all women have issues. So, mine wasn't really an issue after-all...

I will have to accept the gift of GOD and I will grow old gracefully no matter what that annoying salesgirl’s said to me like "try this cream, Miss. You will have more firm breasts" each time I am at the mall where there will be a magic-beauty-kiosk thingy where everyone could be pretty damn hot after purchasing their beauty products.

You guys out there will have to accept the fact that I have a have huge knockers. I am NOT gonna hide them or over-exposing them. Therefore I have no reason to be insecure because I am a real stunner and there is nothing sexier in the whole world than a woman who believes she's sexy! (hah.. ko hadooorrr? sexy kerrrrrr? her her her.. )

And as far as people mocking me, I will just think about this. People only tease other people because of the reactions they get. No reaction, no fun, right? I am enjoying the attention, so bring it on, HATERS!!

My advice to you? PLEASE BE Sweet and nice to others. Treat those around you with kindness & give them the benefit of the doubt. Try to put yourself in their shoes & imagine yourself in others circumstances & act respectfully instead of insulting and mocking (especially if you want to sell or introduce a new beauty products... hahahha)

Always remember to look before you leap and keep your words as sweet and as tender as possible because tomorrow you may have to eat them... eat them raw!!

So… moral of the story is, whether you like it or not… being The-Girl-With-Super-Huge-Saggy-Rack, rocks!!!

Peace...  Hugs & Kisses to friends and lover...

┌П┐ (•͡˘˛˘•͡)┌П┐   to all HATERS!!

Yours truly,

❉✿  FaRaH✿❉

(posted in my facebook in June 17th, 2012 at 10:15pm)

۩♥ A JaR oF HeARtS ♥۩

I met most "future-ex-boyfriends" via internet; in social network pages like Tagged, Myspace and yeah in Facebook too..

Blind-dates are fun and “falling-in-like” with total strangers who wrote good emails with catchy first-impressions like that simple “please-add-me-as-your-friend, Princess Farah because I hate my old circle of friends” is pretty damn ass-kicking as well.

But they only excites me for a week or so. Maybe I’m easily bored or maybe all I did was trying to limit myself from falling in love over and over again. I just don’t want to get hurt again and crying is not what I have in mind right now.

I didn’t mean to lead them on by flirting or by getting horny when they sex-talk me online but I am naughty by nature but mostly an angry bird with a serious case of indescribable awkward mood-swings that scares most internet friends.. LOL..

Maybe it’s karma (for breaking a lot of hearts when I was much hotter and younger and sexier.. duuhhhh.. ) because lately my own precious fragile heart seems to be broken far too many times.

Sometimes I just wanna give up finding love and it seems like I finally accepting the faith to end up being alone (and lonely).... (owhh and grumpy too) until the day I die but honestly, I hate being alone, day-in and day-out… (How lame is lame?) LAME!!!!

I seriously don’t have any problems getting any guys to go out with but I hate going the interview-like blind dates and dating new guys different days every week. It’s tiring. I’m not young anymore. I'm done with that phase of lifestyles… that is like so eeuuuwwwww…

However, it’s pretty pathetic to walk into an empty bedroom after a hard day at work staring at my empty bed and sometimes chatting with my four loyal teddies. It gets worst once I started playing non-stop love songs at full-blasts volume. Sometimes tears ran down my chubby cheeks… urrgghhh… pathetic… obviously! No doubt!

Putting a smile on my face wasn’t an easy task but since there’s a lot of people worry too much about me, I've to fake my own happiness (so they could stop worrying, for god’s sake)

Everyone needs someone to love (and I’m not talking about family members and friends). I really need to be loved, need to be wanted, need to be needed, need to be missed... bla bla bla...

Maybe he’s right there in front of me but I just can’t tell which one is my future soul mate (yes, I am still dating a few potential future-ex-boyfriends on and off) still, I don’t have strong feelings towards any of them. It’s like “I’m-Dating-Just-To-Kill-Time” so “Don’t-Expect-The-Unexpected-From Me”.

But it is obvious, I’m still finding “THE ONE”, for mission is still unaccomplished!

I’m not looking for a future husband mainly because I don’t have any intentions to re-marry. I just want someone to love me as much as I loved him.

I did came across a few A-Lists-Mr Right along the way. They didn’t break my heart because it seems like I was the one collecting a jar of hearts instead. Then again, maybe they did.

I met Nadir on Tagged just a day after my 34th Birthday. We hit it off after a few phone calls. We’re officially “a couple of love sick puppies” after the fourth day of emailing each other and hours of phone-conversations.

How could that be possible? Well… I've been asking myself the same question over and over again. God works in mysterious ways & Love is an unsolved puzzle!!

He brings out the best in me. I can almost “feel” him every night while talking over the phone for several hours every single night for over a year.

I was all over him. So madly-in-love with him. Seeing him as my future husband. I was ready, willing and able.

We talked about marriage and having kids (NOT!! I am so not gonna get pregnant ever again!) I told him if he needs a mini-him running around the house, feel free to adopt or marry another. Because I loved him so much, I didn’t even betray him not a single bit. I didn’t flirt of dating other guys. It was all about him and him alone.

For the first time in my entire life, I had series of hand-written snail-mail love letters sent to him via DHL weekly. I am a romantic freak. It’s like being in love at the age of 16 (since I have never felt what it’s like to fall in love at 16, I guessed it was a rain-cheque that I claimed a lil’ too late)

Then he changed. His friends told me he’s seeing a few girls while on tour. He never admitted those accusations but saying that those guys were just trying to get my attentions (little did he know, I dated some of them before, so I trusted them more than him) but loves blinded me with his sweet cover-up stories. He’s a superb actor. Should win a few awards for lying to me in numerous occasions.

I cried each time I heard of his new flings and rendezvous until one day I decided to call it quit because I certainly had enough of his lies and tales. With a “Dear John” final snail-mail, I bid him farewell and avoiding his calls and text messages ever since.

It was hard at first. He broke my heart for betraying my loyalty and trusts but it was my decision to leave him.

But even after three years, he's still chasing after me. Wanting me back. A lil' late, dontcha think so, Nadir dearest? Still received his text messages every now and then... so lame...

Then I was single again. Flirting. Breaking more hearts. Playing a player’s part (I’m so fucking good at it too)

CJ came into my life a couple of years after Nadir. Met him a few days before my 37th birthday. I was telling my friends that “WoW! Look at that guy in Red shirt. My perfect lollypop! My future-ex-boyfriend. Come to momma!” and we laughed out loud.

Somehow a friend fixed us up and his first phone call came in a few minutes after my birthday countdown by the condo’s poolside soon after my lime-cutting ceremony for that stupid santau thingy (whereas I could’ve been cutting layers of chocolate cheese cake in club instead)

We chatted a bit but it was unpleasant with some misunderstanding matters and I was a bit turn-off by then. He had to leave for an offshore duty the same day so it was okay. At least I don’t have to listen to him for another month or so but a week later he called again and it was love above thousands meter above sea level…

It was sucha beautiful feelings (again???) he’s my perfect soulmate (again and again). So there goes another cases of busses and trains..

Ahah! No snail-mail this time around… BUT.. I repeat… BUT a journal… Journal?? Haha I know… corny ain't it? LOL… I wrote him a Love Journal with different types of hand writting, handmade stickers & love coupons (so lame indeed), with drawings, love quotes, my daily routine, my dreams, my thoughts, my feelings and yesssss… my fantasies (damn! I’m sucha lil’ slut ain't i?) but it was LOVE. Was… people tend to over-do it when they’re in love and I’m no exception (yea right!!).

When he came back from offshore to see me, I was a nervous-wreck but it was so beautiful. You know, the feelings of butterflies flying across my super-flabby tummy, the sweaty palms, the fast heartbeat, it was indeed pure love (so I thought)  Magical moment indeed. He was what I wanted in a guy.

I was so madly in love with him (again.. will I ever learned my previous heart-ache?) until the “true-colour” exposure..

He wants me to move-in with him under one roof. He told me to get rid of all my clothes because they were “too sexy” (like OMG! Your country is very hot! Duuhhh… it’s not about me being sexy but honestly darling, Your Country Is So Fucking Hot! So less is best! No prickly heat. No rashes).  

I have to give daily report of my locations and agendas (what am i? A convicted serial killer on parole?)

Suffocated. Out of breath. Urrgghhh… the best part is, he asked me to marry him. Start a new life with him. So sweet of him, right?

NOT..

The location of our so-called wedding?

Australia!

The reason of his self-proclaimed perfect venue?  

So he doesn’t have to convert to Islam.

Hurrrrmmmm.. there goes my perfect wedding.

Well, CJ dearest, I love you with all my heart BUT I am not an orphan. I have my parents, my siblings, family members and most of all, I have two beautiful children. They’re alive. I won’t betray them and my religion just because I wanna marry you. No way Jose!

I have to let go of a beautiful future but I’d rather lose a man whom I loved the most than my whole family members who loved me from the day I was born.

So CJ is another history (who came back last month out of no where because he realized the girl he dated after me is a serious case of lunatic... errrr do I even care, CJ? Do I? Really??

Next!

Then came Roy. While I was having issues with CJ, Roy came to cheer me up and ease the pain. He is more promising and nicer and easy going. No rules. No dress-code. No law. No fuss.

Roy is different from any other guys I dated over the years. Opposite attractions thingy. He was super nice. Very caring and lovey-dovey.

Sweet like chocolate... (errr or was it dark as chocolate because he is so damn dark... like chocolate.. just like dark-chocolate)

In love again.. that’s right… again and again… never learned..

We dated a few months until one day he was checking out my celly while I was sleeping and found tons of old MMSes and SMSes that really pissed him off. May I reminded you that those were OLD MMSes and SMSes?

I rest my case.

That’s the end of a beautiful relationships. Short and simple.

We hook up a few months after that because he said he forgive me and he loved me too damn much and he doesn't want to let go of me (I do believed him but I hate going 'thru my daily routine with a jealous guy around the corner) and I found out what an asshole he truly was because when I refused to have sex with him, he slapped me hard on my face at my doorsteps in front of my condo unit at 4am. What the fuck???

But lately, series of ex-boyfriends kept calling again. Telling me they want me back, how much they misses me.. bla bla bla... shitty-crap bla bla.. that "dalam hati ada taman" kinda shits...

Whatta sick joke, guys… how original? What am I again? Yeaahhhh that's right... I am your Super-Duper-Ex-Girlfriend... so lets just keep it that way, aite?

I don’t wanna keep plucking daisies for “He-LoVeD-Me-He-LoVeD-Me-NOT” routine… pheewwww.... tiring… (not that I am still doing that... but it's gonna be a cute scene tho)

Learn to appreciate me while I was/am madly in love with you, NOT after I dumped you for not treating me well..

I’m not a grumpy-hand-made-puppet! I’m a rare gem. I will love you like no other. I will treat you like a King if you treat me like a Queen. I am able to make u go GAGA 24/7.. but not after we drifted apart and separated.

Moral of the story?

I’m kinda tired swimming against the current. So if any guys is treating me like he doesn’t give a shit; meaning – he genuinely doesn’t give a shit.

But... but.. but... I will love and be loved again as I refuse to allow my heart be tainted by series of scars from the past because my path was lighten up in days of darkness... (OMG!! Pass me the wet tissue, I need to vomit... sucha drama-queen...)

If you... yeah you... If you have feelings for me, tell it to my face... take the risk of telling me.. Stop beating around the bush...

No exception! If you want me to love you with all my heart, you just have to learn to trust me, never doubt me and accept me as I am. No, it ain't easy loving me but that is the risk..

Don't ever make fun of me when I tell you how much I miss you because I meant it.. I am not scared to voice out my feelings when I am in love because to me, love un-expressed is a crime against the heart.. I am telling it to your face because I might not have the chance to say it again..

And please... please... I am begging you please... Don’t change me into someone you loved previously because I am not her and will never be her!

Love doesn't need to be doubted, tested or proven. It's meant to be shown, shared and nurtured.

I am what I am!

"Love is as much of an object as an obsession. Everybody wants it, but few ever achieved it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it and among all, never ever forget it... "  (Curtis Judalet)

Hugs & kisses,

❥❥ FaRaH ❥❥

(published in my facebook on November 7, 2011 at 3:31pm)

•• tHiS iS mY BoDy, So DeaL WiTh iT ••

I heard these sentences a lot, for ages...

(1)  You'll look more beautiful if you could lose some of those weight!!

(2)  You need to exercise more, girl... You're way too fat!!

(3)  It'll be nicer if you could tone down a lil' bit!!

Well... guess what?  THIS IS MY BODY, SO DEAL WITH IT!!!

If you want a smaller, skinnier, sexier girl... go look for her outside... not in me!!  I am happy with my body, so I don't really care about your ideas of the skinny me... I am healthy and I am happy and I am adored... and loved... and missed by those who accept me for who and what I really am...

I have to agree sometimes it hurts when people called me "FAT" but most of the time I just have to deal with it 'coz they don't put food on my table... and hell yeah... I exercise a lot too but it doesn't make me lose these pounds easily... come to think of it.. I don't think I'll look good if i lose these pounds 'coz it'll be more painful to carry my heavy twin-melons... done that been there...

Recently, I put myself in a now-so-stupid diet plan... an apple cider vinegar diet... it almost cost me my kidney failure... I am having difficulties to urinate... and I had suffer a serious pain not to mention dehydrated 24/7 no matter how much i was gulping my H2O... damn...

So... i just have to watch my food intake and yes... exercise more and harder too... damn... still... I loved my body... coz I think.. I am body beautiful and I am beautiful in my own way... I'll carry myself like a queen and I will attract a king.. hahahah...  those other words wont let me down...

Beauty comes from within... whateva the mind can conceived and believed... you will achieved... do you believe that you are body beautiful??? Yesssss... owh yesss.... (this is a lyric from my fav song... BODY BEAUTIFUL)

Peace....

Princess Farah, Kuala Lumpur.

(this was posted in my Facebook in 2011)